Thank baby fucking Jesus that Christmas is over. The decorations were put away today. It’s official. The holidays are dead. Better them then me. And frankly, I thought I might not survive this year thanks to my mom and her boyfriend. I was sure all the bickering was going to be the end of me. But they eventually stopped and everything was good again.
Well, it took a week for me to recover completely, but it’s all good now. I can finally get back to my good ol’ routine of entertaining the world’s degenerates in between streaming Doctor Who episodes. If, you know, I’m not busy calling in sick because it’s too cold to go anywhere let alone leave the house.
Thank God I don’t have to get naked to masturbate or I would probably have to forgo having orgasms for most of the winter, but my (fake) Hitachi wand is strong enough to make me cum through a goddamn pair of pants, so I don’t have to worry about freezing my tits off when I feel randy.
Although, I gotta say, cold tits look kinda hot. Seriously. What with all the skin shrinking and the nipples getting erect and whatnot, they look all nice and firm. These are the kind of things women think about. But I suppose guys don’t really care, do they? All that time and energy women spend thinking and worrying about the way they look, freaking out over they saggy tits, etc, and dudes are just happy to get to see tits no matter what they look like. Amirite?
Tits, tits, tits, they’re all beautiful. Fashion mags know what’s what. They know a pair of tits is all that’s needed to make you Peepz happy. That’s why they have photoshoots like “Where The Wild Things Are” with topless models like Charlotte Kemp Muhl, Sarabeth Stroller, and Lizzy Jagger. They have tits and we like tits, especially celebrity tits or celebrity daughter tits.
If you’re keeping score, Lizzy makes two. Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall have two supermodel daughters and neither of them have a problem with nudity so there’s that to be thankful for in 2014. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of celebrity parents. Kemp Muhl is dating Sean Lennon. That would be John Lennon’s son. Too bad John’s son isn’t dating one of Mick’s daughters, because that would bring a whole other level of awesome to the Beatles versus the Rolling Stones question.
Whatever, they’re all having an orgy in my mind right now. And clearly, that’s what’s important here. That and thank God for Doctor Who and the fact that the holidays are over.
από: peeperz.com